Friday Five – Favorite Fictional Jerks


the dog from duck hunt
 
Welcome to the Friday Five! Each week we help you get to know our writers with the help of a top 5 list! This weeks category: Fictional Jerks.
 
We have a light list for everyone this week. I guess thinking about people you hate makes everyone uncomfortable. . . Regardless this is our tribute to those big jerks that just make you wanna punch them in the face. Their big stupid jerk faces!
 

Chris

 

  1. Doctor Gregory House – House – This probably isn’t the most original of choices, but come on he was never a nice person, even when he saved people he did it with as much attitude as possible it was great.
  2. John Casey – Chuck – Casey did eventually warm up a bit towards some of the characters on the show, but he was still always kind of a jerk, especially to Morgan but in a fun loving kind of way.
  3. Tony Stark – Iron Man – Whether movie or comic, Tony Stark is a huge jerk. Sure he’ll get a dose of reality on occasion and be nice for a bit, but in the end it’s his personality and it’s usually not malicious, well not probably not anyway.
  4. The Gang – Always Sunny In Philadelphia – This is a bit of a cheat, and if I had to pick on, I’d probably go with Dennis, but really as a group they are by far the biggest jerks ever. Even when they’re trying to do something ‘nice’, they’re jerks.
  5. Ben Linus – Lost – Ben was such an ass from the time he was introduced till the final episode. Even when he was being a decent human being he was still a jerk, well I guess except in the flash sideways, but those don’t really count right?

 
Special Mention – Danny McBride’s character in pretty much everything he’s ever in.
 
Gregory House from House M.D.
 

Eric

 

  1. Microsoft – I know it’s supposed to be fictional but I don’t care. Did you hear about the new Xbox One? Oh my goodness is this thing a load of crap! I was trying so hard to stay open to all of the new consoles, but I don’t see that happening this time. Screw you Microsoft!
  2. Shane (The Walking Dead) – Left his best friend for dead and then did the naughty with his wife. Yeah, that’s a grade A jerk right there.
  3. Bulk and Skull (Power Rangers) – I hated these guys growing up! Always picking on everyone else, and they had no reason for it other than bing big stupid jerks! Effin’ jerks!
  4. Tingle (The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker) – This guy is pretty helpful throughout your adventures. He helps you find treasure, and dungeons, and you think to yourself “This is one nice strangely dressed man!” Then you realize, he was doing this all for himself. At the end of the game you find out that he’s the only person in the world that can read the Treasure Maps leading to the Triforce pieces needed to save the world and all. And instead of just doing it the guy charges you for each one! On top of that he charges you more than you can hold in the basic wallet! Now you gotta go get the bigger wallet and all kinds of money! He was just being nice so you could give him all your flippin’ rupees! Flippin’ jerk!
  5. Doctor Cox (Scrubs) – Literally the funniest character in Scrubs. He constantly berated and antagonized everyone he worked with just because he was wearing his mean pants. Every day.

 
Doctor Cox from Scrubs

is not a boss.

You can Email Eric or follow Eric on Twitter @EricSweeten or Facebook

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